Paper

Who am I? Perhaps, nothing. Sometimes I lie on the floor, other times you gently pick me up with your ink-stained fingers. My pupils often dilate with the darkness inside your caves while you destroy my skin hard. Other times, my eyes cannot stop blinking when somewhere in the corner I open up a casket of your most prized possessions. I see your wounded ego when I move on. It often needs my medicine and that’s my ecstatic pain. Sometimes you crush me hard and other times you burn me when you think you don’t need me.

Yes, I’m just a paper, made of wood, sometimes carelessly lying on the floor, other times kept loose on the table. You scribble hard with your pen and destroy my skin often. Yet, you need me and I stand tall and high in the files and inside the drawers. I treasure your mind, heart, and soul. I’m a precious paper, made of wood. Handle me with care!

Via Daily Prompt: Paper

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The Best Mum’s Award Goes to YOU :-)

Yes, you deserve it. I nominate you for the most loving and beautiful mom in this world. A prettiest mother, doing a great job, and so loving and caring. Sometimes, you just need to hear it!

A mom is perhaps the most amazingly peculiar creature on earth. She blindly believes in us. She always stands by us even in the most turbulent times. She doesn’t sleep but like to watch us sleeping like a baby, always. She needs no words to understand us. She devotes her life so much to us that she can forget the world around her.

That’s a true hero. A true mom, and this mom is alive in all of us.
Happy mother’s day to all ‘lovely moms’ out there. 

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Oh Mama! Not Even PCOD Could Stop Me

cute baby

A Laughing Baby!

This was a voice I heard from within for the first time when I got to know ‘I’m pregnant’. Hey friends, PCOD (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) is not a reason to lower your spirits to get pregnant. It is not a disease to make you victimized by social stigma and crave to become a mother.

PCOD is a challenge which you can overcome with calm, courage, and cheer. It is a common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. This is more a lifestyle problem than some disorder in your body.

I’ve spent two years of my life in overcoming all its symptoms. I had to do a lots to fight depression, balance my diet, gather courage and light up hope after each passing cycle. Moreover, many wagging tongues were determined to push me into ‘never-ending depression’.

“Oh! when are you going to crack the good news? We are waiting.”

“You’ve spent six years of your married life. High time! You should have had atleast one child by now.”

“I’m sure she might be having some problem.”

And the list of these melancholic compliments went on and on. Phew! It was a difficult time, my friends. Gradually, it became harder for me to see a pregnant lady or hear some couple cracking their ‘good news’. It made me more conscious of myself. Worst of all, my peers’ words struck into my head like swords.

Yes, I understand, you all might be undergoing similar experience. But life never ends with one difficult situation. We all have a natural tendency to fend for ourselves, to find fresh new meaning in our lives again. After all, there is always a ray of hope even in the darkest of hours.

PCOD can be corrected with right medications and majorly with effective food therapy. Instead of relying completely on pills, keep your spirits high, pop up fruits, homemade food and give your body and mind time to heal.

Don’t get upset with sharp-tongued chatterboxes. They’ll never understand you, they don’t even belong to you. They are just concerned if they can make some juicy conversation on your plight. It is more important to maintain your calm and remain cheerful throughout. That’s a key to success. Being happy also helps your brain release happy hormones in your body. It provides a conducive environment to your body for pregnancy.

Go for a little shopping, get glossy lipsticks, attractive nail paints, stunning dresses. Be well-dressed, look healthy and good all the time. It gives a feel-good factor to you as well as to your partner.

Eat healthy, stay happy! Good food always give a feel-good factor. Eating green vegetables, fruits, lots of salad, 1 or 2 glasses of milk, homemade fruit juices, regular meals prepares your body for pregnancy. Less or no intake of fast food like pizzas, burgers, coke, etc. helps in detoxification. Also, say ‘NO’ to alcohol and smoking to boost fertility in you.

Change your lifestyle. Sitting for 8 to 9 hours in centrally air-conditioned office affects the health too. Now, you might wonder ‘I can’t leave the job and sit at home’. Hey, I don’t tell you to do this. But you can always opt for some sports like swimming, jogging, brisk walking, etc. early in the morning. And go for some yoga exercises or mild walking in the evening too. Staying in touch with nature and keeping yourself sporty or active helps you heal your body and mind.

Say ‘NO’ to stress. It doesn’t come easy when you are trying hard to become a parent. Each passing cycle not only leaves you in depression but also frustrates your partner too. And, it’s also not easy to avoid stress when doctors, family, friends tell you not to bother.

But the most difficult problems in life are never solved with the ‘stress’ factor. They are solved with a lot of patience, courage and cheer. Here you need to change your attitude because depression and anxiety will never get you anything. Stay calm and allow yourself to flow with time!

God always knows better than you when to gift you a baby- the love and pride of your life.

Wish you all the best!

Won contest in ‘Mother’s World’ magazine for writing a ‘heart-warming’ story. 

Daisy PCOD

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A New Mom? Coping with Baby Blues

Yup. That’s what I had to do when I became a new mom.

I remember those sleepless nights, shapeless body, and that helpless me. My priorities changed drastically. I realized I had little or no time for myself and my focus was just my baby. The newborn occupied a lot of space between me and my partner, leaving no room for us. And, the worst was my shape- it was round like an ‘O’. Everything else fell by the wayside.

You might have thought of having a baby is going to thrill you. But right after the baby’s birth many mothers feel sad and ask themselves: “What’s wrong with me?”, “Did I make a mistake?”, “Oh! I was much happier before?” You face the best of times and the worst of times. Don’t worry. These are mommy blues. A passing phase.

Here’s how to fight back?

Although best source of recovery is the support from your partner and family but this may not be practical every time. They may not understand your state of mind as a new mom.

What to Expect from the Partner? I know, as a new mom, you yearn for a lot of emotional support from your hubby. But give him space as well. He too has just turned into a new father, handling very new things. And he may pin up a lot of expectations on you. But as a new mom you too are unsure of yourself. However, being a man, he may not even understand what you are going through mentally and physically. Ground realities are always different from our thoughts.

Stay calm friends, here you need a lactation expert. Take 2 or 3 sittings from her. Or talk to the gynecologist about the problem seeking a solution. She may help your partner understand your condition and help him cope with you.

Talk to Friends of Your Age-Group. It really helps you realize-every body is sailing in the same boat . And, it’s just a temporary phase.

Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes. Don’t panic while making a mistake or failing to understand the child. Unless you won’t do that how will you be ever able to understand the kid? Proximity with the baby through thick and thin helps you get his or her habit as well.

Be More Patient with the Baby. Small babies trouble a lot. Act maturely with them. Just think about their helplessness- they can’t express their feelings and problems. So, you need to help them, instead of venting out your anger at them.

Move Out of the Homebounds. This is important as it helps to heal a lot. Even if it means going to a nearby shop. Also, move out with the little one for a nice evening stroll.

Exercise Regularly and Correctly. Ask your doctor about this and learn the correct ones from her. Regular and correct exercises are good healer. You even get back to shape soon. Sounds exciting! Isn’t it?

Pamper Yourself with a Good Body Massage. A new mom deserves this after a painful delivery. Continue the body massage with coconut or almond oils for atleast 4 to 6 months. If you feel the need later, go in for a nice massage again. It takes time to recover.

Relive Romantic Moments with the Partner. Well, that’s important. You need time with him. He too will feel better. Go out with him for a much-needed break. If there’s no one at home to take care of the little one, take him along.

Family Picnic-XL

As published in ‘Women’s Era’ best-selling magazine in India

A Passage to Norway

Norwegian-Sea

Yes friends…a passage, a journey! I’m here to unfold the chronicles of my journey as an expat in the world’s most beautiful land of northern lights and midnight sun.

Norway is a beautiful country with a rich cultural heritage, the best of resources and a decent standard of living. Its epic landscapes, spectacular mountains, the unspoiled nature of its cities, towns and farmlands, and peaceful lifestyle can make anyone fall in love with her. Perhaps, I too fell in love. And if you call it a ‘mistake’, yes I made the ‘mistake’ of falling in love because when you start loving, you ignore the dissimilarities and so the love is called ‘blind’.

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I moved to the country with a small child in my arms, unaware of the culture, unaware of the people and the potential difficulties. A few days, then months passed by. I gradually felt lonely and resisted the stillness and darkness of the places here. I missed my family, felt nostalgic about my old lifestyle, native language and society. A moment came when I wanted to run into the dark, silent street next to my house, and scream at the passers-by “talk to me, anybody, please talk to me, hello…” Phew! Those were difficult times in my life. It took me nearly 6 months to get adjusted to the Norwegian culture and lifestyle. Was it culture shock? Was it resistance to my new lifestyle and ways? Not sure! But I strongly resisted and wasn’t happy.

As an expatriate, I and my family faced worst of our times initially. When I started looking for a job, I was told: ‘We had our own struggles, you have your own’, ‘I can help you’ but after a few months the reply comes- ‘Oh! I’m afraid, I can’t help you’ 

Things looked very strange to me, people also looked strange. Or I expected too much of them. Had I been in their place, I would never unduly raise anyone’s hopes, tantalise someone or give them the cold shoulder (if I could not help someone). My struggle wasn’t just this. I saw people’s eyes rolling away from me, heard their cold replies and experienced their indifferent attitudes.

Life moved on! I didn’t rest till the time I discovered something worthwhile. The requirements of a new work culture were not easy for me – create a professional network, find the right sources, sell your expertise and the list goes on. Language was another problem. I began my journey from scratch. No one told me anything; no one helped me with anything. I worked it out for myself.

I began to sell my website designing services. I started as a freelancer, initially working on short assignments, later on full projects and gradually my work increased as companies approached me. I looked at myself as ‘one-woman-team’ and later as a ‘company’. Things looked promising to me. My clients increased and I grew professionally in a way as never before.

Today, I run my own company near the massive town hall building. My eyes are a little wrinkled now; my forehead lines are a bit deeper than 10 years ago and I have a few grey hairs. But I’ve achieved a sense of fulfilment. I have rediscovered myself, my potential and I know who I am. I think that during these years I wasn’t just finding a job or friendship or anyone to talk to me, I was perhaps trying to discover myself. Perhaps it was my rebirth in this new land. The new life looked complex to me. I was afraid of it in the beginning. But it was a blessing in disguise.

Today, whenever I see a youngster running for work from pillar to post, my heart softens a little. Then I think “Oh! This is her best training. She’s not just looking for a regular income but she’s looking for herself, her identity. Let her do – I must not help. She’ll discover the best of herself.”

Experiences, mistakes and failures in life make you discover your inner strength. They make you rather than break you. Living a life abroad, especially as a woman, can be the most positive thing in your life. Don’t be afraid, just face it! You’ll make a sweetest home away from your own home country.

*Character and events narrated in this story are purely fictitious. Any resemblance to real person or event is entirely coincidental.

*As published in ‘Professional Women’s Network’, Norway’s newsletter