Yup. That’s what I had to do when I became a new mom.
I remember those sleepless nights, shapeless body, and that helpless me. My priorities changed drastically. I realized I had little or no time for myself and my focus was just my baby. The newborn occupied a lot of space between me and my partner, leaving no room for us. And, the worst was my shape- it was round like an ‘O’. Everything else fell by the wayside.
You might have thought of having a baby is going to thrill you. But right after the baby’s birth many mothers feel sad and ask themselves: “What’s wrong with me?”, “Did I make a mistake?”, “Oh! I was much happier before?” You face the best of times and the worst of times. Don’t worry. These are mommy blues. A passing phase.
Here’s how to fight back?
Although best source of recovery is the support from your partner and family but this may not be practical every time. They may not understand your state of mind as a new mom.
What to Expect from the Partner? I know, as a new mom, you yearn for a lot of emotional support from your hubby. But give him space as well. He too has just turned into a new father, handling very new things. And he may pin up a lot of expectations on you. But as a new mom you too are unsure of yourself. However, being a man, he may not even understand what you are going through mentally and physically. Ground realities are always different from our thoughts.
Stay calm friends, here you need a lactation expert. Take 2 or 3 sittings from her. Or talk to the gynecologist about the problem seeking a solution. She may help your partner understand your condition and help him cope with you.
Talk to Friends of Your Age-Group. It really helps you realize-every body is sailing in the same boat . And, it’s just a temporary phase.
Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes. Don’t panic while making a mistake or failing to understand the child. Unless you won’t do that how will you be ever able to understand the kid? Proximity with the baby through thick and thin helps you get his or her habit as well.
Be More Patient with the Baby. Small babies trouble a lot. Act maturely with them. Just think about their helplessness- they can’t express their feelings and problems. So, you need to help them, instead of venting out your anger at them.
Move Out of the Homebounds. This is important as it helps to heal a lot. Even if it means going to a nearby shop. Also, move out with the little one for a nice evening stroll.
Exercise Regularly and Correctly. Ask your doctor about this and learn the correct ones from her. Regular and correct exercises are good healer. You even get back to shape soon. Sounds exciting! Isn’t it?
Pamper Yourself with a Good Body Massage. A new mom deserves this after a painful delivery. Continue the body massage with coconut or almond oils for atleast 4 to 6 months. If you feel the need later, go in for a nice massage again. It takes time to recover.
Relive Romantic Moments with the Partner. Well, that’s important. You need time with him. He too will feel better. Go out with him for a much-needed break. If there’s no one at home to take care of the little one, take him along.
As published in ‘Women’s Era’ best-selling magazine in India