You Entered My Mind- Like a Wild Wind

Two loud thuds on the door

I was startled to the core

You pushed, opened it hard

It was my red bleeding heart

My lips quivered for a while

I gathered my fallen, scattered courage and turned around with a trembling smile

This was YOU. A huge, dark shadow… walking with ease. A loud heavy voice, filled the room, echoed in my mind, entered my breath and into my soul.

I have no clue now how to stop you? How to resist you? How to push you back? My lips tremble still. You still thrust your face towards me. I still long to smell your breath, and feel the heat.

“It’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.”

-This is Julia, main character in my novel, unfolding her impressions about the ‘huge, dark shadow.’ I would love to know what do you think.

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(All content on this blog is property of the author. Please do not copy or redistribute without permission. You are free to share on social media as long as you credit the author).

*Character and events narrated in this story are purely fictitious. Any resemblance to real person or event is entirely coincidental.

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Wandering Lust!

I lust for your warm strokes,
I still wait for those musical words, rhyming into my dreamy mind,
I miss your sharp, piercing gaze
Charming my mind, penetrating into my soul, stretching my fantasies far and wide

It’s strange you ensnare me still and my heart no longer feels home in my chest; longs for your soul, whom I’ve barely known.

This is Julia, a black-haired, deep-eyed woman, journeying through a home-spun, seemingly simple life. Caught up in the web of relations. A doting mom. A secret affair- the spark that pushes her beyond her limits, to the extremes. Survival became her only choice.

‘Like a Whirlwind- The Secret Affair’- this is my first new novel, releasing soon. Follow me here to know when and grab your first copy.

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Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

I'm part of Post A Week 2016

(All content on this blog is property of the author. Please do not copy or redistribute without permission. You are free to share on social media as long as you credit the author).

*Character and events narrated in this story are purely fictitious. Any resemblance to real person or event is entirely coincidental.

That’s awesome! I’m 32, turned 18 again

Did you ever imagine to go back in time? From being old to turning young again. Yes. It just happened to me. I jumped back into my college times today. Turned 18 again from 32.

Hey wait! What’re you thinking? Time machine. Yes. I popped into ‘time machine’ and turned 18 again. I’ll start my university days again. Sometimes ‘times’ take you back to your wonder years. The younger years. Norway did this to me again!

This was next breakthrough in my journey as an expat. I’ll soon start my Norwegian language classes again. It feels like starting life all over again. Mixed feelings! I’m speechless. Starting life again at 32? Quite difficult, a challenge.

Hey! Wait. But I see something different. A flip side of the coin. I’m 18 again. This is amusing. Isn’t it.

I saw this on my way… a path of yellow flowers…

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The yellow flowers alongside my path looked beautiful. I realised it’s a new journey, in the whole new world, with new faces and fresh experiences. I felt younger again. I felt as if I’m rolling back in time.

‘Time’ whispered in my ears again: “I’m not measured by clocks, but by moments.” So, dear time, I thought to enjoy you, and not waste you.

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The Best Mum’s Award Goes to YOU :-)

Yes, you deserve it. I nominate you for the most loving and beautiful mom in this world. A prettiest mother, doing a great job, and so loving and caring. Sometimes, you just need to hear it!

A mom is perhaps the most amazingly peculiar creature on earth. She blindly believes in us. She always stands by us even in the most turbulent times. She doesn’t sleep but like to watch us sleeping like a baby, always. She needs no words to understand us. She devotes her life so much to us that she can forget the world around her.

That’s a true hero. A true mom, and this mom is alive in all of us.
Happy mother’s day to all ‘lovely moms’ out there. 

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A New Mom? Coping with Baby Blues

Yup. That’s what I had to do when I became a new mom.

I remember those sleepless nights, shapeless body, and that helpless me. My priorities changed drastically. I realized I had little or no time for myself and my focus was just my baby. The newborn occupied a lot of space between me and my partner, leaving no room for us. And, the worst was my shape- it was round like an ‘O’. Everything else fell by the wayside.

You might have thought of having a baby is going to thrill you. But right after the baby’s birth many mothers feel sad and ask themselves: “What’s wrong with me?”, “Did I make a mistake?”, “Oh! I was much happier before?” You face the best of times and the worst of times. Don’t worry. These are mommy blues. A passing phase.

Here’s how to fight back?

Although best source of recovery is the support from your partner and family but this may not be practical every time. They may not understand your state of mind as a new mom.

What to Expect from the Partner? I know, as a new mom, you yearn for a lot of emotional support from your hubby. But give him space as well. He too has just turned into a new father, handling very new things. And he may pin up a lot of expectations on you. But as a new mom you too are unsure of yourself. However, being a man, he may not even understand what you are going through mentally and physically. Ground realities are always different from our thoughts.

Stay calm friends, here you need a lactation expert. Take 2 or 3 sittings from her. Or talk to the gynecologist about the problem seeking a solution. She may help your partner understand your condition and help him cope with you.

Talk to Friends of Your Age-Group. It really helps you realize-every body is sailing in the same boat . And, it’s just a temporary phase.

Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes. Don’t panic while making a mistake or failing to understand the child. Unless you won’t do that how will you be ever able to understand the kid? Proximity with the baby through thick and thin helps you get his or her habit as well.

Be More Patient with the Baby. Small babies trouble a lot. Act maturely with them. Just think about their helplessness- they can’t express their feelings and problems. So, you need to help them, instead of venting out your anger at them.

Move Out of the Homebounds. This is important as it helps to heal a lot. Even if it means going to a nearby shop. Also, move out with the little one for a nice evening stroll.

Exercise Regularly and Correctly. Ask your doctor about this and learn the correct ones from her. Regular and correct exercises are good healer. You even get back to shape soon. Sounds exciting! Isn’t it?

Pamper Yourself with a Good Body Massage. A new mom deserves this after a painful delivery. Continue the body massage with coconut or almond oils for atleast 4 to 6 months. If you feel the need later, go in for a nice massage again. It takes time to recover.

Relive Romantic Moments with the Partner. Well, that’s important. You need time with him. He too will feel better. Go out with him for a much-needed break. If there’s no one at home to take care of the little one, take him along.

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As published in ‘Women’s Era’ best-selling magazine in India

A Passage to Norway

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Yes friends…a passage, a journey! I’m here to unfold the chronicles of my journey as an expat in the world’s most beautiful land of northern lights and midnight sun.

Norway is a beautiful country with a rich cultural heritage, the best of resources and a decent standard of living. Its epic landscapes, spectacular mountains, the unspoiled nature of its cities, towns and farmlands, and peaceful lifestyle can make anyone fall in love with her. Perhaps, I too fell in love. And if you call it a ‘mistake’, yes I made the ‘mistake’ of falling in love because when you start loving, you ignore the dissimilarities and so the love is called ‘blind’.

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I moved to the country with a small child in my arms, unaware of the culture, unaware of the people and the potential difficulties. A few days, then months passed by. I gradually felt lonely and resisted the stillness and darkness of the places here. I missed my family, felt nostalgic about my old lifestyle, native language and society. A moment came when I wanted to run into the dark, silent street next to my house, and scream at the passers-by “talk to me, anybody, please talk to me, hello…” Phew! Those were difficult times in my life. It took me nearly 6 months to get adjusted to the Norwegian culture and lifestyle. Was it culture shock? Was it resistance to my new lifestyle and ways? Not sure! But I strongly resisted and wasn’t happy.

As an expatriate, I and my family faced worst of our times initially. When I started looking for a job, I was told: ‘We had our own struggles, you have your own’, ‘I can help you’ but after a few months the reply comes- ‘Oh! I’m afraid, I can’t help you’ 

Things looked very strange to me, people also looked strange. Or I expected too much of them. Had I been in their place, I would never unduly raise anyone’s hopes, tantalise someone or give them the cold shoulder (if I could not help someone). My struggle wasn’t just this. I saw people’s eyes rolling away from me, heard their cold replies and experienced their indifferent attitudes.

Life moved on! I didn’t rest till the time I discovered something worthwhile. The requirements of a new work culture were not easy for me – create a professional network, find the right sources, sell your expertise and the list goes on. Language was another problem. I began my journey from scratch. No one told me anything; no one helped me with anything. I worked it out for myself.

I began to sell my website designing services. I started as a freelancer, initially working on short assignments, later on full projects and gradually my work increased as companies approached me. I looked at myself as ‘one-woman-team’ and later as a ‘company’. Things looked promising to me. My clients increased and I grew professionally in a way as never before.

Today, I run my own company near the massive town hall building. My eyes are a little wrinkled now; my forehead lines are a bit deeper than 10 years ago and I have a few grey hairs. But I’ve achieved a sense of fulfilment. I have rediscovered myself, my potential and I know who I am. I think that during these years I wasn’t just finding a job or friendship or anyone to talk to me, I was perhaps trying to discover myself. Perhaps it was my rebirth in this new land. The new life looked complex to me. I was afraid of it in the beginning. But it was a blessing in disguise.

Today, whenever I see a youngster running for work from pillar to post, my heart softens a little. Then I think “Oh! This is her best training. She’s not just looking for a regular income but she’s looking for herself, her identity. Let her do – I must not help. She’ll discover the best of herself.”

Experiences, mistakes and failures in life make you discover your inner strength. They make you rather than break you. Living a life abroad, especially as a woman, can be the most positive thing in your life. Don’t be afraid, just face it! You’ll make a sweetest home away from your own home country.

*Character and events narrated in this story are purely fictitious. Any resemblance to real person or event is entirely coincidental.

*As published in ‘Professional Women’s Network’, Norway’s newsletter